[ ᴃᴚiפʜᴌ ᵴᴌᴗᴆiᴏ ]: December 2009

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2011 here i come! | 2010 has been awesome! :))

"NOTE": I'm Clarence Cheong. I come from the future, exactly 1 year from now. I'm here to compose a summary of 2010. Stay Tuned. Over.
SPOILER ALERT! CLICK TO UNVEIL

So 2010 is almost history now. One more day till 2011... i'm so excited! So many awesome stuffs happened this year.. i can barely recall all, but here's a list of things that happened and i think they're worthy to be listed down here...

1) I went to UK!
2) I finished my TB medications!
3) God filled the hole in my right lung!
4) Obtained flying colors!
5) Made new friends!
6) I've gone into the deep and uncovered revelations that never grow old!
7) Finished reading another book!
8) Had more than enough to share!
9) Played crazy games!
10) Had more than enough to share!

There's just so much things that i want to thank God for, for the year 2010. It has truly been a wonderful, exciting, and awesome journey. No doubts, there were also times of trouble, times of doubt, times of giving up. Nonetheless, God, You have again and again proven Yourself faithful and loving. Thank You once again.

All honour, all glory, all praise to You.

Lord, as for 2011, take my heart whose nature is to beat for me alone, fill it up with You - make all Your joy and pain my own. Let my heart beat in sync with Yours. I desire to know You more, to know Your heart's desires more and more.

Thank You. Happy New Year peep! Let's usher in 2011 with Christ again!

---------------- END OF 2010 POST ----------------


Ok, now back to 2009! 2009 was another awesome year twas one of a kind.

Before i continue, i forgot to thank you peeps who kept me in prayer during my hospitalization period, so here i am to say thank you again, though it may seem insincere, but i really do mean it. Thanks again.

Yes, i've been through a lot this year; some may say. But everyone had their own joy, sorrows, disappointments, and things to rejoice over.

It was truly a great year on my side.. being 21 has been great.. and ever since i turned 21, life has been an adventure with God. i've learnt much this year.. and i would love to learn even more this coming year!

2009 had been a year of blessings and increase.. and yes, i was blessed much indeed.

In short, 2009 has been:
1) awesome
2) meaningful
3) life changing
4) revolutionizing

Picture of the Year:
Nehemiah 9:19 (New International Version)
19 "Because of Your great compassion You did not abandon them in the desert. By day the pillar of cloud did not cease to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take.


Now, that was grace!


Here's a poem i wrote the other day when i felt poetic.
Clarence Cheong: feeling a lil poetic today. [ poem will in included in next blog post :)) ]
28.12.09 Mon at 1:31am
But little did i know when i finish composing it, the following appeared. so u'll prolly have to decode it yourselves. ;)
{\pwi
╚ d T a h o m a P ╨/ α= ≡ á á á á

Σ S S @ " ▒ * , ' % é " 8 0 6 ( 4 2 0 % . + = : ; ( > A * + σ µ
I'm setting out my sail─ B + &
A , ( σ µ
Heading for the deep ─ B (
Leaving σ my place of comfort σ ─ B & ┌
A % " - µ
To the edges of unknown ─ µB - #
A é ü σ ─ B ü
A 8 " , 7 µ
Oh the joy of seeing such beauty σ µ ─ B 7 " T
A 6 0 : 5 µ
And uncovering revelations that never grow oldσ µ ─ B 5 ' ╠
Γ A 4 ( 2 3 µ
For the stories that are yet to be toldσ µ ─ B 3 ( ╕
A 2 % 1 µ
Might make thee go 'woah' σ µ ─ B 1 ═
A 0 / σ µ
─ B /
A . % / 9 µ
I'll trust the Lord with all of my soulσ µ ─ B 9 % L
A = + 5 < µ
And the new covenant i'd not cease to holdσ µ ─ B < & ╙ l A ; : D : µ
Cuz at the farthest of nation one thing I'll still beholdσ µ ─ B : ( ╙`
A > ( 2 ? µ
The majesty of the Lord that never goesσ µ ─ B ? # ü z é é
On a random note, you could proly make a song out of it, if these random encodings were musical notes. ;)

It is like i said, i come from the future.

Me in 3D, Me come in peace!
It would be best if you DO NOT STARE at the image for too long.. you'd prolly get dizzy ;)


Haha, this post is not over.. there are still some other things i'd like to blog about. for the starting of 2010, i would first like to remind firstly myself, and secondly my readers of who we are in Christ. I believe that this is a good way to kick start our 2010 as we remind ourselves of who we are in Christ.

so who am i?
am i just a nice guy?
or just another funny guy?
am i nothing more than flesh and bones?
do i worth more than gold?
who am i that God would have died,
to pay a price i couldn't pay even till i die

I'm a son of God, a prince, not a pauper. A friend to God and not a slave.
I'm not just another nice guy, not just any other funny guy.
I was named before i was born, and Clarence is my name.
I'm clothed with and i am God's righteousness through Christ.
I'm redeemed and covered by the blood of Jesus.
Bought with a price, and now belonging to God.
I'm alive and well, He paid the price.
The old has gone, the new has come.
Whom shall i fear? God is on my side.
I'm assured that as i look to Him, He'll guide me through;
As i involve Him, He will be in all that i do.
I have been chosen, and i will bear fruit.
I'm a motivator, i'll bring them back to You.
God has started His good work in me, but i know He'll not leave me unfinished.
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.


Well.. as of the title of this post.. some of you may think i mistaken or something la.. but no.. i wasn't making a mistake. It's a proclamation of faith, I know it will be great, i know it will be awesome, cuz God is in control. No matter what may happen, i know that i know it will still be.

And oh, look what i found the other day while i was cleaning up my room.... My 2001 Christmas present!



Haha.. its' not my first time reading it.. but it reminded me some stuffs again la.. Well, i guess that's all i wanna write now.. cuz i know i will be busy tomorrow, so im posting this earlier..

Just wanna wish you a blessed new year. May you have a great year just like the one im anticipating!

Before i end, i'd like to encourage you peeps who are bitter about 2009 with a song. be blessed and ministered. enjoy.

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise
So yea, not just you, even i, i will live my 2010 with faith. Knowing that all good things works for those who loves Him.

Once again, have a blessed new year!

Till i blog again

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Chronicles at the Red X & Consequences

EDIT:
First and foremost, i would like to thank God that i'm still here.

Many people consider me unlucky to get infected by TB.. cuz it's like so rare already nowadays.. but anyway, i wanna thank God for being in control.. He know all things well.. season and timings are all in His hand.. i'm glad that i only took 1 subject this sem, i'm glad my parents are on leave(not forced to.. finishing their annual leaves), i'm glad i'm being pampered by them now.. i'm glad that the detection of TB was early enough for medication, and i'm glad to be healthy and well enough to post this, i hope that you people would learn a thing or two from here :)

TB F.A.Q(s): click here
Just in case you wanna know more.. ;))
---------------

I posted this in FB some time ago to get some 'response'.. the question goes like this:
POLL: shud i collect all the blood i spat out in a bottle, take a picture and blog about it? lol.. i think everyone will kill me, cuz its gory and disgusting? [ to vote, comment yes / no ]
And its a yes... so yea, this post will be bloody and long [ bloody long.. lol ] ... so bear with me ;)

The following contains notes i took during my stay at the visit (with some post editing), pictures my brother and i took, and 'posts' i posted elsewhere that i deem worthy to repost it here.. haha

Here goes:

=================
DAY 1 [ 11/12/09 ]
=================

@4.30 am i was sent to the hospital called Gleneagles located at Ampang




@6.00am i was admitted to a 4patient room namely 704-4. I was tagged.


[TAG]
Name: Clarence Cheong
Sex: Male
MRN: 443141
Age: 21 y
Dr: Lim K.H.


@8.25am breakfast came! I was starving already by then. So i had a quick go on my breakfast. I had mee hoon sup, and 2 pieces of plain bread with strawberry jam along with a cup of Milo.

@8.40am a doctor came over to further investigate the case. Here, i was told that i would needed to be switched to a single room as i might be carrying a virus called Tuberculosis, in short TB.

@8.50am my mom came over.

@9.00am a nurse came over and asked me to get my weight taken. A total of 51.6kg was measured

@9.05am the same nurse came over again and had me on drips.

@9.40am some nurses came over to get my blood pressure, pulse rate and temperature measured. fever was gone. Pulse rate increased.

@10.30am another nurse came over and gave me 2 injections. one for i don’t know what reason, the other was injected into my other hand as a marking to determine if its TB.


@10.40am i took the meds the nurse gave me. One of it is for some supplementary purpose

@11.00++am i was asleep. They came only a bun and a sachet of Milo. I wondered if that would be my only lunch... At least for today. I took the items at 12noon.

@12.50pm food for lunch came again! But this time, my appetite wasn't that good. Perhaps lying down too long was the cause.

@1.15pm my temperature was recorded again. Apparently the fever came back. I also finished all my food though i said i lack appetite.

@1.30pm the drip machine gave a continuous beep. My mom got me a nurse. Apparently the tube had some air trapped in it. The nurse 'did her thing' and the beep stopped. Then i went back to sleep.


@1.49pm i was given a mask and i am required to have it on at all time until I was transferred.

@1.55pm i was transferred to a private room. The room number is I 712. Here i have my own TV and bathroom. Nice but either me or my visitors has to wear the mask if they were to visit me.

@2.03pm my dad arrived. And both my parents left at 2.20pm. I went and had my pass motion.

@3.40pm temperature increase. Still having fever. 39.2

@3.55pm i was given 3 tablets for consumption

@4.10pm Dr lim came over. He said that 99 percent is TB. The treatment will last me at least 6 months. Side effects of medication are: orange-red urine, blurry vision, rashes and possibly kidney infection due to the strong meds. I would need to take the meds approx 30 min before meal time. I was told that i would need to start going on med today n i need to raise the bed a lil to avoid me drowning my lungs.

@6.00pm i took my first doze of TB med.

@6.30pm dinner came. Id wait for a while before taking it. Prolly around 6.50pm

@8.45pm mom n dad came over along my lappy. The shop that sells the internet card closed for the day. So I’d only get to use internet tomorrow.


@9.00pm Vincent and Vig came over to pay me a visit and went off around 9.20pm. They left with the Christmas files of 08. Dad and mom went and picked Chris from his drum class.

@9.50pm i was given 3 tablets, a cold pack and an extra blanket. my fever came back.

@10.00pm my family and i took a family picture before they left for home. I also got Chris to take a picture of me with my 'elixir of life'. The bottle was then disposed for hygiene purpose. I had enough for the day. Going off to bed now. Till anything happens again.



@10.05pm the drip made a long beep indicating air trap. The front door was locked. So i tried the 'call nurse' button. The nurse came in 2mins time. Back to sleep.

=================
DAY 2 [ 12/12/09 ]
=================

@2.21am the drip made noise again. A shot was given to me via the same tube. I thought it would have already been close to morning. Lying here is so boring. My temperature was taken earlier. i think the fever is gone. I’m going for a toilet break then back to sleep.

@2.30am oh have i mention about the side effect I’m experiencing now? My urine has started to become orangey. The color is almost surreal. Like orange juice from a packet. And yea i was a lil hungry, so i took the biscuit the hosp supplied earlier on. No sign of blood in my throat now. So I’m going back for some more rest.

@5.00am i was given a few drugs. One cup was placed there just in case i was still having fever. The other is my TB med which I’m supposed to take at 6.30 or 7.00am. a jab was given to stop the internal bleeding. Back to sleep after setting alarm..

@5.25am while fetching for water, i dropped my meds. So happen another nurse came in to change the bag of drip. I took this opportunity to ask for new cups of meds. Back to sleep.

@7.30am i woke up, i was late for my meds, so i guess if my breakfast comes i would have to wait an extra 30mins or so before taking it. My alarm didn’t ring cuz i forgot today isn’t a working day and my alarm was set to ring ONLY on working days. Back to sleep

@7.55am my family arrive. Soon after around 8.10am 2 other tablets were given to me.

@8.30am my breakfast came over, i didn’t take it straight away. The doc came over soon after. I was told that can only be discharged when my bleeding stop and when my fever has stop. I would need to wear mask when i go for my exam. My family and those who are close to me would need to take swab [a.k.a. go for test, just in case they got infected].


@10.00am my 2nd aunt, Audrey 姐 and Belinda 姐 dropped by for a while.

@12.00 Lunch came.

@12.40pm a group of Cyberians [Danny, Alvin, David, Caryn, Kai Wen, Victor, Jon Yee, Wang Ying, and Bryan] came over. They left at 1.50pm.

@2.05pm Dr Lim came in to check on me. Asking for my phlegm/sputum and to have a look on my BCG [Bacillus Calmette-Guérin] mark. He also mentioned that i wouldn’t need the drips anymore.


@4.00pm i went and got the nurse to remove the drips as they haven’t got that done. Prolly cuz 9 Cyberians were hanging out in my room .. law breakers as usual :P

@4.30pm my temperature was taken again. 38.4. the fever is back. Back to sleep.

@6.35pm dinner came. I ordered minestrone sup, fresh greens, fish stew, white rice, starfruit and a cup of tea. Man im hungry. I asked about the TB tablets and the nurse explains that it is only to be taken in the morning, once a day.

@7.25pm my temperature was measured again. 39.

@9.00pm my family came over.

@10.00pm my temperature was measured again. No more fever, blood preassure and pulse rate normal.

@11.00pm i was given 2 pills to stop the bleeding and 1 pill for the phelgm thingy.

@11.25pm i went to bed.

=================
DAY 3 [ 13/12/09 ]
=================

@1.50am temperature taken. No fever. Back to sleep

@5.30am the TB meds were placed on the table, my temperature was taken again. Fever came back. Toilet break, adjust alarm then back to sleep.

@7.10am i woke up and took my TB meds.

@8.20am my breakfast arrived. While having my breakfast, i chatted with my sis on msn. And she was my first online visitor. We turned on our webcams.

@8.40am 5 tablets were sent in for my consumption after breakfast.

@9.15am i went for another round of pass motion.

@9.25am ok... Yes i did mention that i like orange color and my urine is orange color due to the meds. But now even my feces is orangey-brown. Weird. Haha.

@9.50 the doctor came in to check on me. He told me that the nurse would get another round of blood sample to test for HIV which is done for all TB patients. Oh he also mentioned that my sweat and tears might be orangey in color too haha.

@10.25am my temperature, pulse rate, blood pressure were taken. 37 degree celsius. And the rest normal.

@11.43am a nurse came in and gave me a form to sign. The form is an approval for them to take my blood and use it to test for HIV. And yea, obviously she took some blood sample from me.

@11.45am a cleaner kakak came and had my room cleaned. So I’m here to say thanks. :D

@12.50pm lunch came, my appetite wasn’t that good, prolly cuz there were too many fried items. But i took enough to get my stomach filled.


@2.10.pm my parents dropped by.

@3.05pm 3 tablets were sent in. stop bleeding and phlegm. Should b taken at 4pm after my tea break.

@3.30pm a village of WHC member dropped by at least they were civilized enough to come in 2 by 2. [ Ray, Jonathan, Dawson, Jocelyn , Jetaime, Cally, Angie, Chris ]

@4.00pm after the WHC-ians left, i took my tea break and meds, then took my shower.

@4.40pm i took a cup of hot tea after my bath and went for a nap

@4.50pm my temperature and all were taken. All normal. Temperature at 36.9

@6.20pm my dinner came. So much better than lunch!

FB post:
i. Clarence Cheong: leak and potato soup, ginger chicken, slimmer salad, strawberry yogurt and a cup of tea! :x xD

ii. Clarence Cheong: i saw some funky car with christmas deco pass by my window.. :))
@9.15pm i took my supper? 4 pieces of biscuits. Better drink more water to avoid the fever from returning. I decide to go home within 2 days time.

@9.30pm my temperature, blood pressure and pulse rate were taken. 37.8. Slight fever. But oh well its here just to do its job.

@10.00pm i watched pink panther 2. So freaking hilarious.

=================
DAY 4 [ 14/12/09 ]
=================

@1.48am my temperature were measured, 36.6. Woots no fever. Back to sleep.

@5.45am my temperature were measured, no fever. Toilet break, then back to sleep.

@7.20am i woke up to take my TB meds.

@7.55am 2 nurses came in helped me change the bed sheet.

@8.10am breakfast came! I had pancakes, half boiled eggs, whole meal bread, a cup of apple juice, and a cup of barley ice. Not that filling compared to the other breakfast meals, but it was satisfying!

@8.55am i received 5 tablets. The nurse listed out all the names but i couldn't get any. Haha.

@9.05am Dr. Lim came in to check on me. Based on my temperature reading, i just might be able to go back by tomorrow. He also mentioned that he'd get the nurse to remove the drip vessel a.k.a. extra middle finger. Ahaha. The HIV test result came back. Negative as expected. Dr. Lim also mentioned that the mark is due for measurement.


@10.25am my temperature, and pulse rate were measured. Both were normal. Temperature at 36.6. The nurse also took out the drip vessel. Aka removed my extra middle finger .

FB post:
Clarence Cheong: and so, they removed the extra middle finger. haha
@10.45am some pest control guy came and sprayed the insecticide all over my room

@12.50am my temperature was taken. No fever 36.8. At the same time lunch came.

@3.45pm 3 tablets were given to me. I was asked to take it straight, after taking em, i went to sleep.

@5.35pm Dr. Lim came in to measure the size of the mark. a total of approx. 20mm.. this just proves that i have TB..[ wiki: 15 mm or more is positive in
a person with no known risk factors for TB ] I asked to be referred to the respiratory centre at Jalan Pahang.

@6.40pm i got myself my dinner. Not hungry yet. Prolly eating at 7.

@10.00pm my temperature, blood pressure, etc. All normal. No fever

=================
DAY 5 [ 15/12/09 ]
=================

@5.40am i went for a toilet break.

@5.45am my temperature, blood pressure, etc. All normal. No fever. 36

@6.15am my TB drugs were brought in. Back to sleep

@6.45am i took the TB meds. back to sleep

@8.10am Dr. Lim came and checked on me. He reminded me that i need to continue my TB meds every morning with an empty stomach. He also told me i can go home! Preferably, i would also need to wear the mask at home. Dr. Lim also made an appointment with me on the 22nd of Dec. because he said that i would need to make an appointment at the respiratory centre at Jalan Pahang and he thinks that it will not take that quickly. He also reminded me to collect all my lab test results.

@8.20am inform parents.

@8.25am i took my last breakfast here. I practically ate almost all types of eggs they could prepare.

@10.00am my dad arrived. He went and handle to discharge documents while i took my bath.

@11.30am i packed my things, and check out but haven’t leave the room.

@11.50am i left for home.


-----------------------------------------
Some other random pictures..





-----------------------------------------


Ok, the following contains updates from my side..( post-red-X-post )

I stopped jotting down notes after i left the Red X (note: if you do not know why its called a red X.. please go figure it out. lol)..

I've been quarantined for 15 days now (including those days in the hospital, though quarantining at home isn't that bad.. i only wear my mask when i go out)

Taking medicines every morning has been quite troublesome.. but heck, why should i complain when there's a cure for me rite? initially i was given 11 pills per day.. now it has reduced to 8 pills.. and that will last me at least for 2 months.. prolly it'll reduce after that..

Names and descriptions of the pills i take/took:
TB medicines: All of them are antibiotic in nature

  • Pyrazinamide (still taking)

  • Ethambutol (still taking)

  • Rimactazid (still taking)

Others

  • Pyridoxine HCL B.P. - in short, vitamin B6 (still taking)

  • Transamin - to stop internal bleeding (not taking anymore)

  • Revicon - Sorta like a multivitamin (not taking anymore)

On Sunday, i went for Christmas Celebration at KLIH.. took a few pics, but not going to post it here.. 'out of topic' lol..

I went for my exam on the 21/12/09 .. i was relocated to a single room for my exam.. here's the details:
Student ID: 1081106210
Name : Clarence Cheong Weihan
Subject :ECP 2046
Date : 21-December 2009
Time : 9.00 am
Venue : Operation Meeting Room, 1st Floor, The Chancellery building, MMU Cyberjaya.
Err.. i didnt do really well.. cuz i didnt have the mood to study.. instinctively, i put the blame on the meds.. xD

Here's a post i posted in facebook..
Clarence Cheong: looks like taking 1 subject only this sem was the right choice afterall.. ahaha.. God has everything under control. He knows all things, and He had prepared me beforehand. Whom shall i fear? God is on my side :)

♥ Dawson Ngu, Winny Vun, Jocelyn Tai, Belinda Xinyi, Chrysler Cheong, Jonathan Yee, Naveen Thomas, Lai Hoong, Boo Chin Sern, Clement Hu, and Max Yee likes this.

However, i also posted this a few days back:
Clarence Cheong: being a biological-human-weapon isn't exactly fun; that is, if death of others isn't your interest... being a biological-human-weapon is burdensome.

It is seriously a burden .. but oh well.. on the bright side.. i can remove the mask this week!! :D
It has been 3 days after exam.. i basically watched movies and streamed movies through the internet.. facebooked, twittered, and google waved .. and oh yea, i nearly forgot to update you peeps with my follow up i had with Dr. Lim on Tuesday [ 22/12/09] .. Everything is normal on my side.. am healthy and well.. my parents and i got Dr. Lim to explain to us the medical reports, and xray film to get a better understanding on what i'm going through..

Below is an xray scan.. and its explanations:




Here's another post i posted on FB:
Clarence Cheong: i've always known that theres a void in my heart where only God could fill. Just yesterday, i found out that not only my heart does.. now, even my lung (singular, particularly the right lung) also has a void that only God can fill. (literally). Pun intended. xD
Note: The cavity cannot heal by itself.. so the hole is permanent.. but Dr. Lim did mention that the surrounding part might slowly cover up the hole..

and oh, did i mention, my brother was so nice.. he bought me a medicine box .. which will last me for 7 days.. which means 7x8 = 56 pills in this box:


The followings are the pills i NEED to finish up in the next 1 month...



Nonsense of the day:
Did you know that medicines like to appear in retro style?



Lastly:


[EDIT]
Oh wait! Im not finish yet!
How can i go through all these and not learn any lessons from it rite? I bet you'd also wanna know how you can prevent yourselves from getting infected by TB and the such.. so read up :D

Lessons learnt:
1) Never overwork yourself even though you can.
2) Get enough rest.
3) Be careful not to get infected. How? haha..
4) BCG vaccine is only 80% effective.. im one of the 20% who was 'lucky'
5) Voice out when you need to, i've gotta learn quite a lot in this area..
6) Never jump into conclusion
7) Be still and worry about nothing. He is in control
8) Shalom = Completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord.

I don't know if you've read my previous posts before or not.. there were one or two posts where i commanded the fever to stop (eg: working permit expired) .. i learnt that i CAN command it to stop (see below: Matthew 28:18-20), but did you know that fever is a defense mechanism? it's there to help your body to fight against infections.. so NEVER EVER simply ask the fever to go away.. probably i got TB because i ask it to go away... many times when we pray and ask God to do this and that.. many times we forget that God knows things better than us.. but yet we think we know what is right and what's not...

So the next time you got yourself ill, instead of commanding that particular virus to leave (unless you're 100% knowing what you're asking) .. ask God to heal you. Cuz He knows all things.. and He knows which particular method would be better to handle your situation..

Matthew 28:18-20
Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


And yes, even as we remember the birth of Jesus Christ on this day, i would like to again ask God to come and overtake me, fill me with His shalom.. which brings all those that are stated into my life..
I also pray that even as you read this that the Lord will bless you and also fill you with the Shalom that He came to give you. I proclaim shalom upon all my readers in the Name of Jesus. Amen

finally,

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Note: all images in slightly higher resolutions can be found here
Till i blog again

Thursday, December 10, 2009

With great power comes great responsibility.

Most of you would have heard of this statement before, one time or another...

Yes, it's quoted from the movie SpiderMan..
Have you ever been in such situation? i mean like when you are the 'ONLY' one who can do it, and everyone is saying the same thing or at least expecting that of you?

Well, not only Uncle Ben (from the SpiderMan story) said it... even in the bible, God has made mention of such a statement.. it's found in Luke 12:48 [end of the verse]

here's a snippet of it: "Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!"

How true is that! Well, i for one, am caught up in such a situation as this.
Yes, i thank God that He has blessed me with all this talents and skills, thank God for this brain that is able to process things and informations in a blink of an eye, thank God for all the gifts and talents He has placed in me.

However, like the title conveys, great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities! It is at times like this, i wish i was a simpleton, one who knows nothing, i feel like running away, cuz all people want from me is my 100%, wanting me to get the job done, not really knowing what i'm going through. Yes, i know it's partly my fault for not voicing out [ i cant, having sore throat, pun intended ] and i know it is also my fault that i don't know how to get people to help me, cuz i know i can do it, just that it'll really suck the life out of me.

it is at situations like this, and when things around you doesn't happen like you wanted it to, or circumstances that were unforeseen bites you from the back, you suddenly feel helpless, 'emo', and weary. you try to get attention from all around, but not many understood your intention of getting attention and even if they do, some, if not all, don't really care. but yes, there are of course those who really do care and want to know what is happening, advices of how you should go about it and these sort of help isn't really what you want.

rest.


peace.


hope.


joy.


love.


strength.


Those are the things that you really want and desperately need, yet none of those who are concern can really, really give much of these.. and they continually give you advice and the such, but mostly, they're just stating the obvious.

Stating the obvious, do you know what it means? it's as good as saying nothing! nothing at all. and you get all frustrated because none of your needs are really met, angered, pissed, annoyed, stressed, and frustrated with life and all that's within it.

You start to wonder if life is really worth the living, you wonder if you really wanna continue on this journey where everyone is dependent on you, as if there is no one, absolutely no one else that can do the job as good as you can.

yes, i know that there's absolutely no one that can replace you, i mean the real you. but i doubt there's no one else, no one else at all that can replace you at the post you're assigned to.

so what do you do about it? do you just stress out yourself even more? or do you leave it all behind, be the selfish you that doesn't wanna give a damn about the expectations people have on you? or do you look for a solution, look for the One who can fill all your needs, all the rest, peace, hope, joy, love, and strength?

what do you do?

for now, i feel like just giving all up.. im drained to the very core of all that is within me.

i posted this almost everywhere yesterday, hoping to get at least some attention, hoping to get some help
I'm at a level of torpidity where the measure of the amount of output per unit of input approaches cypher.... LOL.. i make it sound so complicated..
the message was obviously indirect, prolly cuz i lack courage of getting help from people directly cuz i know, i know i can handle it, but i'll definitely drain myself out..

lol.. to you who don't understand what the statement means, it means:
i'm so tired that my productivity level is at 0


sad to say, no one responded, most prolly cuz i made it sound so complicated. lol?

and so, i drained out myself.. was overclocking myself far beyond the acceptable range. in the midst of tiredness, the body couldn't take it any longer.. it had to cry to catch my attention, and yes, it BLOODY did!

bright-red-colored-blood came gushing out of my throat early this morning, i could feel the amount of blood that was chocked up and stored.. i knew it wasnt a good sign.. since when coughing blood was a good sign anyway rite?

and yes, you might be thinking why i aint resting now rite? its becuz im so tired, that my brain aint processing anything in the logic manner already.. i want to sleep, but yet im here.. i dont know if you've experienced this before or not.. but this isnt the first time such thing is happening to me.

well.. thats all for now i guess.. and yea, im collecting all the blood i spat out in a bottle.. lol.. might post it up.. but it would be gory wouldnt it? heh.

mind you, with great power comes great responsibility.



EDIT:
when 2 individuals demands of your 100%, ask God to expend you, make it double! ( in that way, you can give "50/50" .. since you're already doubled up! hah! )



Till i blog again

F5 - Refresh!

of all the things i can wish for now... i wish i could feel alive. well, don't get me wrong.. im not in the zombie mode again...

but, to be brutally honest, im bloody tired. yes bloody!

why?

cuz im coughing out blood again. blood which are stucked in the throat while i was sleeping.

im sick and tired of getting sore throat already! imagine a whole month of it.. freaking uncomfortable and annoying! shoo! go away already!

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the title F5 - Refresh, some of you might wonder what's it about.. basically, if you press F5 any (most, if not all) application, it will refresh it..

and yes, i really, really wanna be refreshed..

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bah... im aint in the mood to blog any longer.. really stressed up... really busy..

- its not easy to be me. same goes to you.

lastly:



On wings of eagles will i soar.


Hillsong Music Australia - " You Are My Strength "
You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies


Till i blog again

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

New gadget added into inventory

Hey peeps! Sorry i was away from the blogging world again.

I wasn't particularly busy or anything. In fact, was still sick since the last post.. sore throat.

Not intending to leave that topic aside; was my decision to 'expire' fever's working permit a wrong one? perhaps, the fever was there to kill and remove the sore at the throat, the sore throat is literally a pain in the neck. ><

so yea, fever if you need to come back to finish your job, come, then leave as soon as you're done eh. this has prolonged far beyond expected. nevertheless, my hope and thrust is in God and God alone. but with wisdom, i still took the necessary drugs given by the doctor i went to last week.

and oh, ive been sleeping A LOT these days... prolly cuz of the drugs.. haha.. to my unbelief, i slept at 9.40pm last nite... haha.. talk about record breaking.. haha.. i've never slept so early after primary school... ( and yes, i use to sleep at 10pm everyday when i was younger - back in primary school )

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First a picture to 'wet your mouth' haha:



ok.. now back to the main topic.

some of you might have noticed, i started a new album in FB titled:

[ Bright ] Photography

Yes, it is as you guess, i got myself a camera. Thanks to mom and dad again for this 21st birthday gift :) appreciate it :D

Obviously, i can't really take picture of the camera with the camera unless im in front of some mirror or so... so, ill leave you readers to search it up the net... it's called Canon S90

Here's some of the specs that might interest you:
10MPx, F2.0 lens (28-105mm), DiGiC4 processor, full manual mode, 3 inch LCD display. I think you can get the rest of the specs on the net easily :)

it's a compact camera. not a bulky DSLR ;) one of the key factors of me getting this instead of other cameras :)

I've been playing with it for a week now... it's nice to finally have a camera with you whenever you want..

i had difficulty choosing this camera.. well cuz the other competitor was the famous Panasonic LX3.. haha.. both compact and fully manual cameras.. in the end i chose this over the latter because of the size :)

i guess that's all in regards to the new gadget in my inventory. (at times, i do realize im so so so so blessed... do i really need all these? hmmm...)

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Good luck to my friends who are having their midterm paper later. Id be busy again these coming weeks.. of lab reports, assignments, Christmas preparation works, fund raising event and the such...

k then, i should get back to finishing my lab report now.

Till i blog again