[ ᴃᴚiפʜᴌ ᵴᴌᴗᴆiᴏ ]: March 2012

Monday, March 12, 2012

209: Passions

What? What passion?

Maybe i'm not so normal, maybe i'm different. [ how do you even define normal? ]

I kindda grew up with a bunch of people who were passionate about many different things: football, basketball, bowling, cycling, stamp collecting, playing the piano, playing the guitar, playing the drums, reading, drawing, meeting new people and a whole list ahead..

each with their favorite football team, basketball team, badminton player and etc... Then they ask me, what are you passionate about? I replied: "Me?"

It got me thinking for awhile, maybe not awhile, but many years.. There's always this question in me.. what am i really passionate about?

Honestly, this has scarred me a lil, it makes me feel like a second class, makes me feel like i'm not good enough... ultimately, made me feel like a loser.

What are passions? Are they just merely things that you enjoy doing? Things that you'd put in your effort in? Things you'd never give up at any chance you get? Are passions things you are good at? Can passions be things that you're not good at, but enjoy doing?

Well, one question still remains.. What is my passion? i wonder if any of you had this sort of question before... i mean, there's so many things going on in a day... even more so in this age where the information network is updated by the seconds... sometimes, pondering and reflecting is the last thing on our mind..

there's a whole list of sports i enjoy, but i don't think they are things i'm passionate about... i mean i enjoy running, i enjoy long jump, high jump, archery, squash, bowling, pool, rock climbing and so many other sports...

there's also a whole list of academic things that i enjoy, (believe it or not) i enjoy learning, i enjoy studying, i like drawing, designing, programming, teaching, writing and etc..

those aside, i enjoy playing the guitar, drums, playing games too.. but am i really passionate about those?

i searched, and searched... and honestly, yet to come to a conclusion of what my passion really is...

but one thing i know, i'm very excited when i've been given a chance to put the smile back on people's face, especially so if the other party has been through hardship, trials and dissapointments and find no more reason to smile, no more reason to live. by the grace of God, i've seen many lives set free and made whole through the little that i have.. at times, it has been very tiring, so much that you wish that you don't have to know so much.. and yea, it's emotionally very draining to hear their stories and what they've been through..

is this a passion? well, i know for sure that it's not my strength, it's a gift from God to be able lead these people out of their valleys, to see the gold in the broken, in the weary, in the outcast.

another thing that i really enjoy doing is teaching, especially passing down knowledge to the younger generation, passing down something more than just head knowledge, passing down character and mindset..

but then again here comes the questions, am i Trying to be the sun?.. well, i suppose that's for me to find out, and for you to pray ahaha :D

take that aside, what am i passionate about? hmmmm....

Dear Lord, help me find my own flame...

Till i blog again